Family breakdown is extremely stressful on an emotional level but it also raises all sorts of questions. Where will everybody live? How much time will the children spend with each parent? Should there be a divorce? How will the assets be split? What happens with any debts? And, not least, how can all these issues be resolved in an affordable way?

When faced with this situation some couples will immediately make  a court application. Whilst this may be the right option for some, a significant number of couples could resolve their differences in alternative ways.

One such option is family mediation.

What is family mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary process during which you and your ex-partner attend several meetings with a trained mediator who is independent and impartial. The mediator will help you both explore the problems you need to resolve and will identify and consider with you the possible solutions in order to see if you can reach an agreement.

The benefits of trying to resolve disputes in this way are that you and your ex-partner retain the power to make decisions about your lives and those of your children without the financial or emotional cost that can be associated with a court application.

What are the key principles of family mediation?

-   Mediation is voluntary. You are both there because you want to reach a resolution of the issues in dispute but you both have the right to bring an end to the process if you wish. The mediator also retains the right to end the mediation process if he or she considers that it would be appropriate or helpful to do so.

-   Mediators are impartial and seek to help both parties equally. They do not make judgements about right or wrong, nor do they express opinions. They do not take sides and you are allowed to reach your own agreement about your future.

-   Mediators can provide legal and financial information in a neutral way to help you understand the options available to you. They do not provide advice as to what is in your partner’s “best interests”.

-   Unless otherwise agreed, all information including correspondence from both of you is shared openly. Should you wish to keep your address or phone number private, however, that will be respected.

What is a MIAM?

MIAM is short for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. 

This is an initial meeting with a trained mediator to consider whether mediation is a suitable process for resolving the issues in dispute. Consideration should also be given to other forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR).  Considering such ways to resolve a dispute is a prerequisite before issuing proceedings at court in relation to children or finances, unless an exemption applies.

What happens in family mediation?

If your situation has been assessed as suitable for mediation, an initial joint session with you and your ex-partner will be arranged. This may be with everyone in the same room but in some cases it involves ‘shuttle’ mediation where the two of you are in different rooms and the mediator moves between you both. Remote mediation is also an option provided by some mediators and involves you all attending virtually via video conferencing software such as Zoom, Teams or Skype.

An agenda for each session will be agreed and the mediator will help you both work through the issues to be discussed. At the end of the session the mediator will summarise what has been dealt with and what remains to be agreed. Depending upon the issues being dealt with, you may both be given a number of tasks to complete before the next session.

Where you and your ex-partner are able to reach an agreement on some or all of the issues, the mediator will draw up a summary of the agreement reached and summarise any financial disclosure provided. This will be done with your agreement. It’s important to remember, however, that any agreement reached in mediation is not legally binding. Should you wish to make a mediated agreement binding, we can assist with this.

Do I need a solicitor?

It is strongly recommended that you seek advice from a solicitor. The mediator's primary role is to facilitate the discussions. They are not there to consider whether the information provided is accurate or complete and cannot provide either of you with legal advice.

Our specialist family solicitors can give you that legal advice and this can be obtained before, during or after the mediation process. We will consider your circumstances and the issues to be resolved and advise you about the full range of dispute resolution options, taking into account what you might  achieve and what will be in your best interests.

If you decide to go ahead with mediation you will be able to share with us any documentation or information provided during the mediation sessions. We will give you advice as to what further information you should be seeking and consider with you any settlement proposals.

In complex cases that, for example, involve pensions or business assets, we can help address concerns about valuations and other issues that might otherwise cause the mediation to break down. Having advice at this critical point can enable you both to return to mediation once the problem has been addressed. In appropriate cases - and subject to your ex-partner’s, the mediator’s and your own agreement - it is possible to have mediation sessions that include your solicitor.

How can family mediation solicitors at Birkett Long help?

As well as helping you through the process, should mediation break down, we can continue to help you to reach a resolution. In the event that you are able to reach an agreement on the issues that were in dispute, whether as a result of mediation or otherwise, we can prepare any documents necessary to give effect to that agreement and ensure that it is legally binding. We can also deal with divorce proceedings if you decide that is the right course of action for you.

Please get in touch if you feel an informal chat would be useful. We offer a free, no obligation 15 minute phone call, during which we can outline how we are able to help.